I Can't Feel My Face
A 32-hour marathon of playing 'Björk's greatest hits' on repeat has left me in a pickle. I can't even feel my face. I've tried using a hair dryer, a blowtorch, and a team of highly trained, ninja-esque facial masseuses, but nothing seems to be working.
I'm starting to think that I'll never be able to feel my face again. It's a real crisis, folks. If you have any solutions, please, for the love of all things good and pure, help me out.