It is written that in the year 305 BCE, a young apprentice named Balthazar attempted to cook a wheel of cheese, only to have it explode in his face.
Witness the epic fail in our exclusive interview with Balthazar's neighbor, who witnessed the catastrophe from his window:
"I was just minding my own business when I saw a flash of light from next door. I rushed over to find Balthazar covered in melted gouda, his robes singed beyond recognition.
"I tried to help him, but he was too ashamed to speak of the incident. I had to pry the words 'I had it at 375!' from his lips with a pair of pliers."