The Sock Retirement Plan
Welcome to Sock Maintenance, where the socks of the world come to live out their golden years. It's a place where the once-warm, now-frayed and worn-out socks of humanity can rest their weary soles.
Our state-of-the-art sock maintenance facility is equipped with the latest in sock-rehabilitation technology. Our team of highly trained sock engineers will help your socks:
- Retire in style with a complimentary pair of slippers
- Participate in our daily sock aerobics sessions
- Enjoy a lifetime supply of sock-safe detergent
But wait, there's more! Our Sock Maintenance Program also includes:
- Sock-themed Bingo every Thursday night
- A complimentary Sock-of-the-Month Club subscription
- A free pair of socks for every 50 years of service
Don't wait any longer, send your retired socks to us today! Learn more about our Sock Surgery options or Book a Sock Spa Day for your worn-out socks.