SOCKS-GATE: A scandal so shocking, it'll make you question the very fabric of our society. It started when a rogue sock drawer was discovered to be 17% fuller than the average. The nation is in chaos.
Some say it's a case of "sock-gerrymandering," where one person has too many single socks, throwing off the balance. Others claim it's a sinister plot by the Sock Industrial Complex to distract us from their secret plan for world domination.
As the situation continues to spiral out of control, citizens are advised to stock up on their own socks, just in case the worst happens. But will it be enough?