Coffee and Crisis Counseling is the premier destination for individuals seeking a caffeine-fueled escape from their existential crises.

Our expert counselors are trained to administer not just talk therapy, but also expertly brewed coffee, tailored to your specific emotional state.

Our Services:

• A Shot of Sadness - Our specialty coffee, brewed to induce feelings of melancholy and regret.

• A Shot of Hope - A bold, rich coffee designed to boost your mood and restore your faith in humanity.

• A Shot of Ambiguity - A perplexing blend of coffee and philosophical inquiry, guaranteed to leave you questioning everything.

Come for the coffee, stay for the existential dread.

Book your appointment today, or just drop by for a cup of joe.

Or, you know, just lurk in the comments and hope someone notices you.