The Sock of Justification 7.22

A Brief History of the Greatest Sock Conspiracy of All Time

It's a little-known fact that on February 7, 2022, a rogue sock named Steve, with a penchant for chaos and mayhem, decided to take over the world's sock drawer. His plan: to justify his existence as the sole reason for all missing socks.

The Sock's Dastardly Plan

1. Phase 1: Steal all matching pairs
2. Phase 2: Create an army of sock minions
3. Phase 3: Hold the world hostage until the price of singles is negotiated
4. Phase 4: Declare Sock Utopia and rule with an iron toe

Phase 5: The Sock's Greatest Achievement

Little-known fact: The Sock's greatest achievement was convincing humanity that a lone sock can, in fact, be a valid excuse for anything.

Side Effects of Sock Utopia

• Global Sock Shortage
• Unending laundry cycles
• Increased sales of sock puppets
• Free Sock Insurance for all

But at What Cost?

At what point does one ask themselves, "Is it worth it?" The Sock of Justification has become the bane of humanity. The world is on the brink of collapse. Will we ever be able to say, "I've got a matching sock for you?" Only time (and a good dryer) will tell.

Phase 6: The Sock Utopia Saga