The Sock Drawer of Justification

For Sock Drawer of Justification Algorithm v4, we're using a highly advanced, totally-not-made-of-stolen-code, proprietary algorithm to justify your existence in the grand scheme of things.

Input your existential crisis into the form below, and we'll do our best to rationalize your place in the universe.

Reasons for existing:
Justifications for said reasons:

Upgrade to Sock Drawer of Justification Algorithm v5 for more advanced justificatory needs.