According to our patented Time Traveling Sock Algorithm, you have just traveled back in time to 1985, a era of neon lights and even more neon socks. It is now 10:04 AM on a Tuesday. The weather is overcast with a hint of nostalgia.
You find yourself in the presence of a wise and venerable Sock Oracle, who speaks to you in a voice that is both ancient and ageless.
"Greetings, temporal sock traveler. I sense that you are here for the socks. Very well, I shall guide you through the process of acquiring the finest socks in the space-time continuum."
Click here for the Socks of Destiny, or
here for the Socks of Nostalgia.
<a href="/socks-of-justification/algorithm/6.3.3-socks-of-disaster">If you dare, click here for the Socks of Disaster.