Socks of Doomsday: Thermo-Melted Donations

Buy Now! (Or Else!)

Warning: These socks are so hot, you'll need to donate a few limbs to keep them from melting your feet. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Donations start at $10,000.00 (a small price to pay for the right to wear socks that will incinerate your feet).

Side Effects:

• Loss of sensation in feet
• Temporary or permanent damage to skin
• Regret (in hindsight)

But wait, there's more! If you donate, you'll also get:

• A free pair of matching socks for your face!
• A personalized apology note from our team of highly-trained, highly-paid sock specialists

Don't wait, order now!