Socks of Doom Rules

Rule 1: Thou shalt not wear socks with sandals.

Repeat after me: "I shall not, I shall not, I shall not wear socks with sandals."

Rule 2: Thou shalt not wear socks with holes.

For the love of all that is holy, do not wear socks with holes. It's like wearing a map of your foot on your foot.

Rule 3: Thou shalt not wear socks with novelty designs.

No, no, no, no, no. Novelty socks are a gateway to the abyss of fashion despair.

Rule 4: Thou shalt not wear socks that smell like cheese.

Don't make us weep, dear socks. If they smell like last week's pizza, it's time for new socks.

Rule 5: Thou shalt not wear socks with the logo of thy nemesis.

For the love of all things sane, do not wear socks with the logo of thy greatest foe. That's just begging for a duel to the death.

Rule 6: Thou shalt not wear socks that have been seen before.

Avoid the dreaded sock déjà vu. It's like reliving the same nightmare, but with more foot sweat.

Rule 7: Thou shalt not wear socks with the power of flight.

Leave the flying to the birds, the planes, and the superheroes. We're just trying to stay grounded here.

Rule 8: Thou shalt not wear socks with the face of thy ex.

Don't make us cry, dear socks. Leave the past in the past, unless you're into that sorta thing.