According to renowned Sock Theorist, Dr. Reginald P. Sockworth, the Sock Eating Machine is a phenomenon where socks vanish at an alarming rate, only to reappear in the most unexpected places. It's as if the very fabric of reality is consuming our socks whole.
But why does this happen? What drives the Sock Eating Machine? Some say it's a manifestation of the universe's innate laziness, a protest against the monotony of matching footwear.
Others claim it's a government conspiracy to control our footwear choices, a means to an end in their sinister plot for world domination.
But we know the truth: it's just a really bad case of Sock Greed Disorder. A condition where one's desire for novelty socks outweighs their sense of responsibility, leading to an endless cycle of consumption and loss.
Want to learn more about the Sock Eating Machine?
Learn more about Sock Greed Disorder
Or, if you're feeling adventurous:
Join a Sock Hoarder Support Group
But, if you're feeling particularly brave: