A Scientific Treatise on the Speed of Time
Welcome, fellow scientists, to the most epic of theories: Sonic the Hedgehog's Time Dilation Theory.
In a shocking twist on Einstein's theory, Sonic has discovered that time dilation occurs when he's traveling at speeds exceeding 300 miles per second. But not just any speed – no, no, no. This speed must be achieved with a precise 22.5 degrees of spin, or else the laws of physics are broken.
The Math:
Time Dilation = (Speed x Spin Angle) / (Grazing's Constant) = Time Traveler's Delight
Plug in the numbers, you'll see:
Time Dilation = (300 x 22.5) / (π) = 2.25 x 10^6 years
That's a whole lotta years. You can do the math yourself, but let's just say it's a lot.