Today, I, Soul Surgeon, am here to tell you that soul surgery is not just about cutting through flesh and blood, but about cutting through the very fabric of reality.
I'm talking, of course, about the art of extracting and implanting souls. It's a delicate procedure, one that requires finesse, a steady hand, and a strong stomach.
But don't just take my word for it, read on for some of my most... enlightening case studies:
Meet John, a man with a rare condition known as 'Soul-lessness.' His soul was a mess of tangled threads, a knotty problem if you will. I extracted it with ease, but things took a turn when I tried to reattach it. The results were... less than stellar.
John is now a vegetable, but with a vegetable that's been possessed by a malevolent spirit. It's a work in progress, but progress is being made.
Meet Jane, a woman with a penchant for adventure. She wanted to switch her soul with that of a wild animal, just for kicks. I accommodated her wishes, but things got hairy when the soul of a wolverine took up residence in her body.
She's now a wolverine in a business suit, but the looks on her face say it all.