Warning: This is not a real product, but it sounds like it should be, right? Imagine being able to control time itself with just a few strips of tape. It's like a temporal Etch A Sketch, but for your entire life.
Learn more about the various uses of Time Dilation Tape
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try out our Beta Tester Program
Materials: Super-Advanced Quantum Tape (SAQT)
Dimensions: 1 inch x 50 feet, 1 foot x 1 mile, or 100 miles x 100 years (custom orders accepted)
Weight: Light as a feather, but dense as a temporal anchor