Step 3: Apply a generous coat of fluorite-based sparkle serum to the affected surface. This will create an intense, eye-watering glow that will repel any would-be sparklers.
Warning: Side effects may include spontaneous outbursts of disco music, involuntary dance moves, and an irrepressible urge to wear platform shoes.
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Proceed to Step 4: The Glittering Gauntlet
Consult a Medical Professional (just kidding, they're all out of business)