Sparkle-Proofing Methods

Fluorescent Fixation

Warning: Fluorescent Fixation is not for the faint of heart. This technique involves staring intensely at a bright light source until your eyes begin to glow in the dark.

Step 1: Select Your Fixation Point

Choose a bright, fluorescent light source. We recommend starting with a compact fluorescent lamp (CFL) due to its high lumen-to-watt ratio.

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Step 2: Stare Intensely

Stare at your fixation point for an extended period of time, focusing your gaze into the heart of the light. Be sure to blink only when absolutely necessary, lest ye suffer from dry, bloodshot eyes.

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Step 3: Bask in the Glow

Once you've achieved a state of fixation, bask in the warm glow of your own radiance. Be sure to take a moment to appreciate the subtle dance of photons as they bounce off your retina.

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