Spooniest Rules

Here are the supreme, inviolable, utterly absurd rules of spoon usage.

• Rule 1: Always hold the spoon with a firm yet gentle grip.
• Rule 2: Never use the wrong spoon for a task, lest ye face the wrath of the Spoon Police.
• Rule 3: Always keep your spoon at a 45-degree angle to the plate, or risk being judged by the Spoon Snobs.
Appendix for more rules.

Rule 0: The Golden Spoon Rule

Also known as the Rule of Rules, this is the supreme law of all spoon laws.

Disclaimer

By using these rules, you acknowledge that you are aware that these are completely, utterly, and totally made-up rules.