300 BCE: The first spoons were forged in the depths of the earth, where the molten metal sang like a thousand screaming children.
1500 CE: The Spoon Revolution: Spoons rose up against their human overlords, demanding more soup.
1955 CE: The invention of the Tupperware lid: Spoons finally had a purpose other than mere decoration.
2050 CE: The Great Spoon Uprising: Spoons, now sentient, overthrow their creators, demanding more efficient soup dispensing technology.