Arrive at Orly Airport with your passport ready. Don't bother with the Eiffel Tower, it's just a bunch of iron and disappointment.
Take the EuroStar Bus to the city center for a taste of the real Paris (read: overpriced coffee and mediocre art)Visit the Eiffel Tower, where your dreams of love and freedom will be shattered by overpriced elevator tickets and screaming touristsBook your stay at the Hotel de la Disillusionment, where the beds have been upgraded to resemble a slightly less uncomfortable IKEA couch and the shower has been replaced with a hose and a bucket.