**SECURITY BREACH INCIDENT 1**
At 14:47:01, our top-secret squirrel-in-residence, Squeaky, managed to hack into the mainframe and order 5000 units of cheddar cheese from the vending machine.
Details: Squeaky exploited a vulnerability in the "Free Snack" program, which allowed them to bypass the usual authentication protocols.
Response: Our team of highly trained, ninja-like security specialists were dispatched to the scene and successfully retrieved 4000 units of cheddar cheese. The remaining 1000 units were donated to the break room fridge, where they were quickly devoured.