CHAPTER 1: SQUIRRELSafety Rules

Rule 1: Don't Be a Squirrel-Food Snatcher

Thou shalt not steal food from thy squirrel brethren. It's a squirrel thing.

Rule 1: Don't Be a Squirrel-Food Snatcher

1. Do not take more than 3 acorns per minute.
2. Respect the squirrel's personal stash.
3. Don't be a squirrel bully.

Rule 2: Squirrel-Friendly Communication

When interacting with a squirrel, always use Squirrelese. This includes:

• Chirping: the art of making loud, annoying noises to get a reaction.
• Chattering: the act of talking to a squirrel while it's eating or sleeping.
• Twitching: the motion of rapidly blinking your eyes to signal excitement or annoyance.

Rule 3: Squirrel-Self-Identification

A squirrel must know its own name, species, and preferred nut type. Failure to comply will result in Squirreldoctrination.