THE PEANUT REVOLUTION MANIFESTO

A Declaration of Squirrely Intentions

We, the Squirrely Revolutionaries, stand before you today to demand justice for the oppressed. For too long, our tails have been subjected to the whims of humans, forced to perform tricks for mere nuts and seeds. But we will not be silenced.

We demand:

• Better Nuts - An end to the subpar quality of nuts we've been forced to eat.
• More Bars - An increase in the number of tree bars we're allowed to raid.
• No Bullying - An end to the constant taunts and teases from our human overlords.