The Manifesto of the Nut Reformers

By the collective genius of Squirrely Revolution, we call upon all sentient beings to recognize the inherent value in nuts!

Our movement seeks to bring balance to the ecosystem, one crunchy snack at a time.

Article I: We, the Squirrelly, Demand

• Equal rights and representation for all nut species.
• An end to the oppressive nut-hoarding practices of humans.
• Immediate action on the climate crisis, starting with reforestation efforts.
• A global ban on nut-milking, except for those who truly understand the intricacies of the nut cycle.

Join us, and together, we will crack open the future of nut-based prosperity!

Or, for those who prefer the direct approach: