Welcome to the Standard Issue Reporter, where we bring you the most thrilling, the most electrifying, and the most utterly unremarkable news stories from around the world.
We're not exactly Pulitzer Prize winners, but we're trying. Our reporters are highly trained to report on the mundane with the most excitement we can muster.
Click here to see our Press Room for more details on our coverage.
Or, for a truly thrilling experience, visit our Lost Dog Reporting Service, where we cover the most heart-wrenching tales of canine disappearance.