Stapler Safety Report: Appendix - Stapler Happiness Index

Warning: The following report contains highly technical and potentially confusing information. Prolonged exposure may cause eye strain and/or stapler-induced trauma.

Happiness Index: 8.5/10

Our team of expert stapler analysts has compiled a comprehensive report on the happiness levels of staplers across the globe. The results are in:

• Stapler 1: 9/10 - This stapler is happy, but its happiness is short-lived due to a faulty spring.
• Stapler 2: 7/10 - This stapler is neutral, but its happiness is on the rise thanks to a recent software update.
• Stapler 3: 3/10 - This stapler is unhappy, but its owners are working on it.

Click here for more information on stapler profiles.