Stapler Safety Report: The Hole in the Space-Time Continuum

Section 1: The Incident

On a fateful day in April 2025, our stapler, Bertram, malfunctioned in a catastrophic event known as "The Stapling of the Space-Time Continuum." A user, identified only as "John," attempted to staple a report while simultaneously experiencing a temporal displacement.

• John reported experiencing a 4.72-minute temporal loop, reliving the same 10 seconds over and over.
• During this time, John stapled the same report 427 times.
• The stapler, now known as "Bertram the Unstable," was subsequently decommissioned.

Read Section 2: The Investigation