Statistics of Chaos

Because sometimes the numbers just don't add up.

Probabilities of Existential Dread

Our statistics say you have a 74.3% chance of experiencing existential dread when faced with the meaninglessness of it all.

But wait, it gets worse. Our advanced calculations indicate a 99.9% chance that the coffee machine in the break room will malfunction at exactly 2:47 PM.

Learn more about the paradox of the spoon.

Most Likely Causes of Unfortunate Events:

Unreliable Sausage
Unforeseen Consequences of Unpaid Parking Fines
Sudden and Unexplained Onset of Unrequited Love
Unfortunate Inheritance of In-Laws

Read the full report on Unreliable Sausage. Learn about the apocalyptic consequences of unpaid parking fines. Discover the unrequited love story of the century. Find out how to escape the clutches of your in-laws.