Stockpile Contingency Plan

A comprehensive guide to emergency cheese procurement and preservation.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, we've been forced to develop a backup plan for our beloved stockpile.

Our top-secret cheese reserve is now located at Bunker 42, where it's being kept in cryogenic stasis for maximum flavor and aroma preservation.

In the event of an emergency, please proceed to the Cheese Dispenser 2000 for immediate gratification.

We're not kidding, this is a real thing.

**Critical Contingency Plan Protocols:**

  1. Code Red: Activate Cheese Dispenser 2000.
  2. Code Blue: Call for backup cheese reserves.
  3. Code Green: Panic and eat the whole stockpile.

© 2023 Stockpile Inc. All rights reserved.

Need more information?
This is a satirical and fictional content, do not attempt to use this in real-life emergencies.