Apocalypse Gear

Because You're Going to Need It

Welcome to Apocalypse Gear, your one-stop-shop for all your post-apocalyptic needs. From the mundane to the utterly absurd, we've got you covered.

Top Sellers:

• Duct Tape - The Ultimate Post-Apocalyptic Fix-All
• Duct Tape Reel - For When You Need More Duct Tape
• Parachute - Because You Never Know When You'll Need to Make an Emergency Exit
• Parachute Recovery System - For When You Do Know You'll Need to Make an Emergency Exit
• Thermos Bottle - For When You Need to Keep Your Coffee Hot, Even in the Face of Armageddon

Specials:

• Thermos Bottle Insulation Kit - Because You Don't Want Your Coffee to Get Cold (Even If the Apocalypse Gets Hot)

Clearance:

• Duct Tape Reel - Discontinued - Because We're Out of Stock, But You're Still Out of Options

More:

Other Stuff - Because We Ran Out of Things to Say

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions (But Not Really)

Feedback - Because We're Not Sure What You're Doing, But We Want to Know

Why Buy from Us?

Because we're the only store in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that still has a functioning credit card machine.

Store Hours:

We're open 24/7, 365, until the power grid collapses.

Address:

123 Apocalypse Lane, Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland, USA

Phone:

1-800-APOCALYPSE-1

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