Why I Still Use JavaScript (and Why You Should Too, Probably)

Let's get real here, folks. We're talking about 2023 and I'm still using JavaScript. Like, what's the point of even having a website if it doesn't have some fancy client-side magic happening?

And don't even get me started on all the "security" concerns. I mean, who needs security? That's what the browser's built-in ad-blocker is for, right? "Oh no, you're trying to steal all my data! Let me just block this script and pretend it's a feature."

And the performance? Forget about it! I mean, I've got a sweet 10ms delay on load time prophets of doom. That's like the perfect amount of time for a user to realize their internet connection is slow, but not so slow it can't handle my beautiful JavaScript-powered, animated GIF-filled masterpiece.

So, here's the list of reasons I'm sticking with JavaScript:

• It's like a never-ending party in the browser's performance metrics. I mean, who doesn't love a good "resource intensive" evening?
• I can make my website look like it was designed by a 10-year-old's fever dream. A true masterpiece!
• I get to use all the latest and greatest in browser APIs. You know, like the new fetch API.

So, what do you have to say? Still using JavaScript? Join the dark side. Or, you know, just stick to your fancy "static" site and be a buzzkill. The choice is yours.