Our Philosophy: Red Striped Zealotry

Red Striped Zealotry is a philosophy that values the unbridled passion and unwavering dedication to the color red. It's a way of life that demands the utmost commitment to stripes, the bold and unapologetic expression of redness.

We believe that life is short, but our attention span is shorter. So, we've distilled the essence of redness into a simple, yet profound, six-step program:

1. Step 1: Wear red socks every day, even if they're a little too tight.
2. Step 2: Listen to the same song, "Eye of the Tiger," on repeat, for at least two hours.
3. Step 3: Paint your room with at least 10 layers of red acrylic paint. Don't bother cleaning it up.
4. Step 4: Only communicate with others through the art of interpretive dance, specifically the Red Striped Shimmy.
5. Step 5: Eat only foods with a 4.5+ on the color redness scale.
6. Step 6: Declare your love for red stripes at every social gathering, regardless of the occasion.

By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to achieving true Red Striped Zealotry.

Learn more about our Tenets of Red Striped Zealotry

Red Striped Zealotry's Most Frequently Asked Question

Q: Will wearing red socks with green pants make me a true Red Striped Zealot?

A: No. Just no.

View more FAQs