Step 4: Throw a bone to the common people
As a 4th generation British aristocrat, it's time to give back. But not in the way you think. No, no, no. We're talking about throwing a bone to the common people, not, you know, actual bones. That's just tacky.
Here's how to do it like a pro:
- Host an over-the-top tea party with enough sandwiches to feed the entire village
- Instruct your butler to wear a top hat and monocle
- Make sure the china is at least 50% gold
- Invite the local news to report on the "giving back" and make sure the headlines are dramatic
And for good measure, make a few wry remarks about how you're only throwing a bone because you have to, and that's all you're doing.
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