Tired of living in a world that just doesn't understand the importance of well-groomed, technicolor beards? Join the Order of the Golden Toes, a prestigious group of prophets and seers dedicated to the art of facial hair majesty.
Your donation will help fund our research into the perfect beard length-to-mustache ratio, the optimal amount of hairspray to use, and the most efficient way to hide your socks in the couch cushions.
Donate even more money! (Because, let's be real, you're clearly made of cash)
Or, if you're feeling particularly stingy, just send a nice letter.