Question 1: What is the airspeed velocity of a typical Thursday morning?

According to a completely made-up study, it's 27 miles per second.

Question 2: Which planet is most likely to have a Thursday?

Definitely Earth. I mean, who needs aliens when you have cats?

They're a real thing. Look it up.

It's not the end, but it's getting close. Don't worry, there's still Thursday.

It's bright, it's bold, it's full of cat pictures.

They're not just any ordinary cats. They're Thursday cats.