Rule 1: Never trust a young person who doesn't like cats.
Rule 2: Always complain about the price of everything.
Rule 3: Demand that your doctor explain everything in excruciating detail, even if you're 90 and have a PhD in astrophysics.
Rule 4: Use your cane as a third leg on the couch.
Rule 5: Never, ever use the phrase "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy."
Want to see the Elderly Privileges Constitution? View the Constitution
Want to report a privilege abuse? Contact the Elderly Ombudsman