Top-Secret Recipe for the Most Extraordinary Muffin the World Has Ever Known

For centuries, the ancient Order of the Golden Toque has guarded the world's most elusive recipe. Now, after 300 years of clandestine baking, we've finally cracked the code. But be warned: this is not for the faint of heart. Or stomach.

Ingredients:

CrumblyDisasters (1 cup)

Flavortastrophe (2 cups)

ButterChaos (1 stick)

Combine ingredients in a bowl of utter chaos, then serve with a dollop of despair.

Disclaimer: Not responsible for the destruction of your kitchen.