A highly competitive position that requires an unwavering commitment to fear and anxiety. Must be able to anticipate and prepare for every possible disaster.
We're looking for someone who can predict the worst-case scenario in any situation. Must be able to craft comprehensive doomsday plans and contingency protocols.
A unique opportunity for someone who can juggle multiple timelines and calendars. Must be able to attend meetings in the past, present, and future without getting too attached.
Don't bother applying if you're looking for a job that's fun. We're a committee of highly paranoid individuals who will drive you to the brink of madness.