Report 2: The Unremarkable Truth

Subcommittee on Unimportant Affairs

As you are aware, the committee has been tasked with investigating the thrilling tale of the stapler that didn't quite work right.

The report concludes that the stapler's failure was likely due to a combination of factors, including:

Excessive use of glitter in the office
Lack of regular maintenance on the stapler
A possibly sentient stapler uprising

Recommendations for future improvements include:

Regularly polishing the stapler
Limiting glitter usage to 0.5g maximum per user
Implementing a stapler therapy program

Related Documents:

Report 3: The Stapler Uprising Minutes of Meeting 1 Note: The above HTML is generated based on the path "/subcommittees/reports/report-2" and is intended to be a satirical take on a bureaucratic report, with a dash of humor and absurdity.