Welcome, suckers, to the Ripoff-Rotten Rotten Rotten Subcommittee, where our motto is "We're not as corrupt as they are, we're just more... creative!"
We've been formed to investigate the most egregious cases of corporate malfeasance, and we're not afraid to get our hands dirty (or at least, we're not afraid to get our hands dirty in a really obvious, attention-grabbing way).
Our team of highly trained (in the art of doing nothing) experts will dig deep into the muck and mire of financial records, uncover the hidden secrets, and expose the scoundrels for the scoundrels they are.
Or, you know, we might just take a nap and grab a snack.
Either way, it's all in a day's work for the Ripoff-Rotten Rotten Rotten Subcommittee.