Department of Unreasonable Expectations

Form 3456-7890: Application for Instant Gratification

Download Form 3456-7891 (Alternative Version) Submit Form 3456-7890 (Online)

Section 1: Reason for Unreasonable Expectations

Please select one of the following options:

• I have a pressing engagement with a time-sensitive deadline.
• I have an urgent need for validation and self-affirmation.
• I am suffering from an acute case of existential dread.