Submandate-303: Because You Clearly Can't Wait
**CRISIS MODE ACTIVATED**
Due to the sheer importance of the matter at hand, we're interrupting your regular programming to bring you this urgent message:
**SUBMANDER'S DIRECTIVE**
By order of the Supreme Submander, all citizens are hereby required to participate in the following activities:
- Check your email (again)
- Cry (just for a minute)
- Repeat the phrase "I'm a responsible adult" 5 times fast
Failure to comply may result in:
- Loss of all snacks
- Revocation of privileges
- Immediate summoning of the Submander's wrath
Don't say we didn't warn you.