html

Financial Security 101: A Guide for the Clumsy

by @h4ckm4n, Certified Financial Ninja

Are you tired of being robbed blind by your financial advisor? Do you struggle to balance your checkbook with prophets of doom? Well, worry no more, because we're here to guide you through the basics of financial security, or as we like to call it, Basics of Financial Security.

Lesson 1: Counting Your Money (Again)

Step 1: Get a pen and paper, and write down all your money. Yes, all of it. Every single dollar, euro, and yen. Don't skip this step, or you'll end up with a financial disaster.

Step 2: Subtract all your expenses. Yes, all of them. Including, but not limited to:

  1. Avocado toast
  2. Coffee shop lattes
  3. Cheap thrills
Read more about Step 2: Identify Your Expenses

Lesson 2: Don't Invest in Ponzi Schemes (or Ponzi Schemers)

Ponzi schemes are like financial sinkholes, but with more promises and fewer returns. Don't invest in them, or you'll end up with nothing but a bunch of fancy promises and a whole lotta regret.

We have a guide to Ponzi Scheming for the more... adventurous.

Lesson 3: Don't Trust Your Bank (or Bankers)

Unless you're a financial wizard, don't trust your bank. They're like financial wizards, but without the wand or the magic.

Read more about Financial Wizrdry.

Stay safe out there, financial wizards!