The Mandate of Unrelenting Futility

Submandate 1: The Unyielding Mandate for Unending Bureaucracy

As a submandate of this glorious and totally-not-at-all-inefficient government, you are hereby directed to...

Fill out form 27-B/6 in triplicate and submit to the nearest desk clerk.
Wait 6-12 months for a response, or possibly never.
If your request is deemed worthy, you will be granted a special prize package of 10% off on our overpriced office supplies.

Don't bother trying to contact us for clarification, we're busy.