The Manifesto of the Submandate Subjunctures

The Submandates are a force to be reckoned with.

We are the prophets of the post-postmodern era.

Our Tenets

• We reject the notion that the color yellow is a happy color.
• We hold that the only true color is black and white.
• We believe that the only good music is that which is played on a kazoo.
• We demand a return to the days of the manual typewriter.
• We advocate for the use of only the most aggressive of font sizes.
• We hold that the only good poetry is that which is written in iambic pentameter.
• We believe that the only good art is that which is created with the aid of a Ouija board.
• We reject the notion that the internet is a place for subtle humor.
• We hold that the only true form of exercise is the Submandate Sway.

Our manifesto is open to interpretations, but we're not.

Submandates: The prophets of the post-postmodern era.

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