Submandates: A Collection of Unremarkable Decisions

Submandate 1: The Right to Remain in Bed

By law, you are entitled to stay in bed for up to 4 hours on weekdays and 6 hours on weekends. This submandate ensures that the most productive members of society get the rest they so rightfully deserve.

Submandate 2: The Right to Use Jargon Submandate 3: The Right to Wear Plaid with Polka Dots

Submandate 3: The Right to Wear Plaid with Polka Dots

This submandate ensures that even the most discerning fashionistas can express themselves without fear of judgment or social ostracism.

Submandate 4: The Right to Use the Word 'Sassy' Unironically Submandate 5: The Right to Eat Cereal for Dinner