Our History: A Brief and Completely Unreliable Account

Warning: the events described below may not have actually occurred, or may have been fabricated for entertainment purposes only.

Pre-Founding Era (200 BCE-1800 CE)

• Our ancestors were allegedly discovered by a time-traveling, hyper-intelligent cat named Professor Meow.
• They were known for their impressive collection of artisanal cheeses and their love of avant-garde poetry.
• Our forebears were often seen arguing with the local villagers over the best way to cook a decent plate of nachos.

Learn more about the Pre-Founding Era

Founding Era (1800-1900 CE)

• Our founders, a motley crew of eccentric inventors and tinkerers, built a time machine and promptly used it to travel back to the Pre-Founding Era.
• They brought with them an assortment of useless gadgets and an unhealthy obsession with pocket watches.
• Our ancestors were known to have started several successful time-traveling clubs, but they were ultimately shut down by a group of overzealous regulators.

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Modern Era (1900 CE-Present)

• Our people were instrumental in the development of the first-ever toaster that also made cat noises.
• We were briefly the proud owners of a talking, disco-dancing pineapple.
• We invented the art of extreme ironing, but were forced to retire due to a series of unfortunate events involving a malfunctioning iron.

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And that's just the beginning of our completely fabricated history! Want to know more? Visit our Fake Archives for even more outlandish tales!