Welcome to Submandates, where we explore the most overhyped products that will change your life, but probably won't.
Because who needs a real bike when you can have a $10,000 exercise bike that plays annoying music?
With its built-in water bottle holder, you can stay hydrated while you're not actually doing anything.
But wait, there's more!
Stay tuned for more submandates!
Or, you know, just Google it.