Submandates: The Secret Handshake Society

Welcome to the most exclusive club you'll never be invited to. Here's what we're about:

We're a secret organization that does nothing but shake hands.
We're not actually secret, we're just really picky about who we let in.
Our handshake ritual is 17 steps long and involves exactly 3.5 minutes of solid eye contact.

Want to join us? Don't bother. Our membership committee is notoriously unimpressed.