Q: What is the Trade-In Program?
A: It's a program designed to help you trade in your old, worn-out self for a newer, shinier version. Because, let's face it, you're not getting any younger.
Q: How does it work?
A: Simply click the 'Upgrade Now' button, and our team of highly trained professionals will guide you through the process. Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit... much.
Q: What kind of upgrades are available?
A: The usual: new personality, better looks, improved memory, and a 50% increase in the ability to eat an entire pizza by yourself.
Q: What's the catch?
A: Oh, just a few minor side effects: temporary loss of dignity, slight increase in anxiety, and a 30-day free trial of our patented 'I'm-a- robot' insurance policy.
Q: Can I trade in my spouse or significant other?
A: Sorry, no. They're not eligible for trade-in. But don't worry, we have a special 'Trade-In Your Family' program for those pesky siblings and in-laws. Ask us about it!
Learn more about the Trade-In Program Requirements