Life Coaches for the Utterly Despondent

Submandates Services: Because adulting is hard.

Our Life Coaches

• Philosophy Forensic Investigator - We'll analyze your existential dread and prescribe the right amount of nihilism.
• Motivational Therapist - We'll help you find your passion, or at least, your least-worst alternative.
• Relationship Astrologer - We'll tell you who you should date, based on the stars, planets, and your astrological sign.

Consulting - We'll help you navigate the complexities of adulthood, for a fee.

Disclaimer: We're not actually qualified, certified, or sane.